Has Anyone seen my Rose Colored Glasses?

I lost them. The rose-colored shades through which I was looking at this Ironman and all of the training leading up to it have come down.

I found myself awake from 3:00-6:00am this morning. As I lie in bed, wishing I could either fall back to sleep, or muster enough energy to get up and be productive, all I could seem to count were the miles that I did NOT run over the weekend. I was supposed to do a 10 mile run on Sunday. It was the last long run before my first half marathon this coming Saturday. When I got up at 6:30am on Sunday it was raining and rather than wear a jacket and run in the rain or hit the treadmill at the gym, I sat in my pajamas on the sofa in my cozy little apartment, sipping espresso. For the 12 hours between when I got up and when friends would be arriving for Sunday Dinner, I did everything I could possibly imagine to fill the hours except to go for my run.

Last week, I was in love with training. I was happy. I was enthusiastic, and embraced the challenge brought by each workout. To anyone who told me that I was nuts for doing an Ironman, I responded with a huge smile and through a little giggle would say, "I know, I have totally lost my mind, and its going to be great."
Today, I am not feeling so great about any of this. Someone seems to have poked a hole in my little bubble of naivete and I am not floating on endorphins anymore.

Borko came to my place for Sunday Dinner last night and brought me a copy Becoming an Ironman. In an attempt to salvage my enthusiasm I am going to go home and start reading tonight. I just hope that I can find those glasses - I miss my rosey outlook on this triathlon life.